Lets be a community

There have been a few articles floating around the interwebs recently about the different types of moms. There are a lot of different types of moms.  Working moms, Stay at home Moms, Work at home moms, Moms that travel, Single moms who do it all, etc.  Regardless though of all the different “types” of moms, we are all people, too.  Our role in our family is Mother, but before we became mothers we were people. We had lives before our children.  Some of us traveled and saw the world-or the country.  Some of us got degrees and some of us gained all of our education through pure life experience.  Some of us stayed in our hometowns to cultivate lifelong friendships and grow our families together, and some of us left to new places of discovery.  There are many different ways we grew, developed, changed, and matured as women.

Then we became mothers.  Oh how there are so many ways to categorize mothers. There are those I listed above, but also so many more.  There are natural mothers, traditional mothers, attachment mothers, breastfeeding advocates, formula feeding mothers, mothers who practiced baby led weaning, those who co-sleep, those who room share, those whose babies slept in their cribs from day one, those who travel the world with their children, those who do things for themselves, those who feel guilty when doing anything for themselves, those who home school, those who take their children everywhere with them, those who adapt their lives to focus around their children, those who involve their children in all things they enjoyed before children became a part of their lives…and the list goes on and on.

As mothers, let’s remind ourselves-over and over, when we are out and about and we are surrounded by other mothers.  When we come across others who parent differently from us, who’s lives are not our lives, who’s children are not our children.  Let’s remind ourselves that they are not us, we are not them, and even though we may be different in our parenting styles, we are both still mothers and our children are thriving, happy, laughing, and amazing.  We still need support through; tantrums,feedings, naptimes, multi-tasking, self imposed mom guilt, sleepless nights, feeling overwhelmed, procuring hobbies that are our own, again, the list is endless.

To all my mom friends, I raise a glass to you. I am here to support you.  To let you know that even though it may have been a rough day, you are doing a fabulous job.  Below are pictures of just some of my own personal community of mothers.71color_saldana


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Missing him

May 2nd, our lives changed.  Our lives as a family unit, our identities as Aunt and Uncle, our responsibilities as parents, our fear of tragedy happening twice, the content of our dreams, our entire lives changed.  All encompassing.  The day we lost our Ryan will never again be a normal day.  September 5th, Ryan’s birthday, will never be a normal day.  Holidays will never be normal.  Our children’s birthdays will never be normal.  The next year holds so many firsts, and it is conflicting.  The firsts contrast.  Jake will take his first steps, crawl for the first time, have his first Christmas, Easter, Birthday, New Years, plane ride, first time meeting his extended Oregon Family, including his new niece.  All of which will be joyous.  However, under the joy we feel from celebrating our new little guy and his moments of advancement, we will also be heartbroken.  Heartbroken that these holidays and moments of excitement will be firsts without our Ryan.  The first Christmas without our Ryan.

Christmas is going to be exceptionally hard.  Our family has traditions that include hours of opening gifts, eating goodies, the kiddos wearing their matching jammies, leaving the Reindeer carrots and cookies for Santa, InNOut Christmas eve night after church, and so many more.  Matt and I carefully select gifts for the kids, usually getting the same thing for the boys.  Last year we got them these great football uniforms.  We got Conner a 49ers uniform, and for Ryan a Bengals one.  It is Dan’s favorite team.  They loved them.

We are not a unit anymore, even though we have to try to be-try as hard as we can.  We have to search for happiness in our sadness.  We have to remember all the sweet times we had with our Ryry.  We have to celebrate our little guy’s firsts, but also remember this is going to be a year filled with reoccurring heartache.  Those of you reading this, I ask, please pray for our families.  We go through our daily motions, but I see Ryan every night in my dreams.  I think about him any moment I am alone with my thoughts.  Every Friday I wear my red kicks or my red shirt.  Every 2nd of every month I have a cry when I am in my own space.  Every day is hard.  We miss him, so much.


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Rolling over

So my little man has been doing things on his own timeline.  He rolled over for the first time a little less than a month ago and then after that he would do it whenever he felt like it.  Now he is at the point where he does it every time he is on the ground.  Put him on his play mat, turn around, look over your shoulder and the kid is on his belly.  Then he plays, on his belly, and then gets SO mad.  He kicks his legs like he wants to climb right up and start crawling.  There are those moments when he does it and Lucy cheers for him and he gets the hugest grin on his face.  And then there are these moments.IMG_2280 IMG_2284

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Sensitive Babe

Grr. So for at least the last week I have had this cough, that seems to keep progressing.  At first it started as a tickle in my through and has taken over.  There are no other symptoms. Just this cough. Boo.  I decided that even though I don’t normally go to the doctor for things I would go in and get this taken care of.  I found her really randomly through a facebook group.  I love and hate social media for so many things.  One of the reasons I love it is this doctor.  She was fantastic.

We get into the room and Lucy starts rearranging furniture.  No big deal, chairs can be moved back. So I didn’t say anything.  When she had found the perfect place for the chair; she sits down, looks up, and says, “Mommy, I’m sitting by the bed so now I can protect you.”  Tears, anyone?

She has been doing this.  Getting extra sensitive when anyone is hurt or sick, and especially when a doctor’s visit is in order.  She doesn’t exactly know how to differentiate between a cough, a skinned knee, and what happened to our nephew.  So we have to spend lots of time reminding her that she is safe, and since we spend so much time letting her know that she is safe, she spends a lot of time reassuring that she will also keep US safe.

side note: the cough is viral bronchitis. boo.


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I sure do love pink.

When I found out my brother and his wife were having a baby I was ecstatic.  Actually, I was in tears.  Tears of joy and pure happiness.  I honestly wasnt sure what their plan for parenthood was. Or if they wanted to embark on that adventure/challenge/life change.  But they do. And I couldn’t be more excited.  They are sweet, careful, and interesting people.  They are readers, gamers, collectors, adventurers.  They are kind, caring, amazing, cautious, and so many other things.  They will make incredible parents to their little…………………….GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

It has been a very long time since there has been a new baby to cuddle, that wasn’t our own-obviously.  I can’t wait to snuggle my new niece.  Oh and spoil her rotten with ALL KINDS OF PINK!IMG_2204

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Recital Time

I have to say I was a little leery about Little Lucy and her first ballet recital. At first I was so excited for it.  Cutie pie little girls in their tutus, buns, and lip gloss (some in full on RED stripper lipstick, haha).  Then as time went by I started to realize a few key things. The first is that these things are EXPENSIVE!  Just paying for the tickets and the recital fee put us back a pretty penny.  Thank goodness her costume was included.  The second thing is that the show was scheduled for 2pm. This happens to be smack dab in the middle of Ms. thing’s naptime.  Soooo, that in itself is unpredictable.  She doesn’t miss her nap often, so I didn’t know what was going to happen.  And the third.  She was just getting over it.  She was actually telling me she didn’t feel good to try and get out of going to class.  She just turned three people, this shouldn’t ALREADY be happening should it?!  So leading up to the show I had all of these elements of unpredictability in the back of my head.

The weekend of the big show arrived.  My parents had flown in from Oregon to watch.  Thursday she had class and my mom went with us.  She was her normal self, just not into it.  Friday night I drove her to the rehearsal.  She was all decked out, and she was actually SO excited.  And then it was their turn.  And she KILLED IT!  I was in awe.  Like jaw dropped on the floor in awe.  Like holy moly sister-you just rocked that stage.  Saturday was the big day.  We were able to get her down for a nap at 10:30.  Then we got her ready, drove her down to the show and fancied her up.  She was thrilled and excited to be here.  She knew that a whole entourage of people had come to see her show.  And she loved it.  She kept jumping up and down saying “I’n so esided!!!”  It was adorable.

I decided to stay back with her since the only back stage mom was one from the other class and she looked like she could use some help.  This also meant some quality time with my sweet girl.  They went out for their ballet routine and they couldn’t see their teacher, so they turned and plie’d in a less that orderly fashion.  Which was actually kind of funny.  And then they went back out for their tap routine later and just hit it straight out the ball park.

Even after she was done, though, she still said, “Momma, now that my ‘cital is over, I’n going take a break from ballet.” And so we will, but not until we loaded her up with pink roses.  One of my favorite memories from all of the recitals I did as a child was when we were done and my family would come up to me armed with hugs and roses.  What child doesn’t feel extra special-celeb status special, when holding more than a dozen roses.


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Hey Bubbus.  You are five months, almost six.  You are our little party animal.  You nap the longest when your sister is also napping, because to miss a moment of playing with her is something you’re not ready to give up to sleep.  You have gifted your daddy and I with longer stretches of sleep at night-other than when your little nose is stuffy.  You roll over, but only when you feel like it and you never sit straight up because your toes are too interesting.  Your hands are constantly in your mouth and you smile at anyone who looks at you.  I swear you love your sister so much.  You get a huge grin on your face whenever I say her name.  You are SO big!  Almost 18lbs already.  Which is a lot when you want momma to rock you to sleep.  I still don’t mind.  I’ve tried putting you to bed drowsy, but all you do is play.  For hours.  You don’t cry often, unless we are in the car.  You have a belly laugh that goes into a sort of gasp when you find something hilarious and your dialect resembles something like Pterodactyl.

You are the perfect addition.  We love you to the ends of the earth, and even though there are things happening around us that are unexplainable, your smile helps us all smile.


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